LoNeLy....
Today is Saturday... means it is almost a week after I quit.... I'm still jobless... but I've planned to do some small business... jual nasi campur la... it's not a glamour job anyway... but I don't have to worry about punctuality... don't have to worry about my salary... or being yelled by superior and I can take my day off as and when I like..
Still feeling so bored... one of the reason is because I'm jobless. No where to go, wanna meet friends, they are at work... so just stay at home, surfing and watch TV, playing with my kids. Unfortunately, even my hubby is around, it doesn't make any difference to me. He was on leave on last Thursday & yesterday. On last Wednesday, when I came back from my mom's place, he told me that he's going out to see his friends, fine.... go ahead... who cares? I didn't know what time he came back, probably very late. I was sleeping and when I woke up at 5am, he's not beside me. Oh... he's back actually, but spending his fucking time with playing games till morning. Damn..... take a break for his breakfast and lunch that I've cooked and continue untill 3pm. Feeling so tired and sleepy, he go to bed... zzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzz until 9pm... wake up, take a bath, having dinner, smoke a cigarette and again GAMES! Until the next morning.... I can't stand this anymore.....but what can I do? Talk to him?? Na..... tried before, result end with an argument... he will say that I'm playing the games too... surfing the net.... bla bla bla.... bullshit! I know he's a very nice guy, a lovely and a responsible father.... but definitely he's not a good husband to me... I'm willing to accept this because of my kids but only God knows how I feel... Today, he's on night shift. Thank god! Go away.... I hate to see your face playing those games till morning and leaving me alone in the room unattended!
Here I am, even after 11 years of marriage, I am still LONELY! :(
Still feeling so bored... one of the reason is because I'm jobless. No where to go, wanna meet friends, they are at work... so just stay at home, surfing and watch TV, playing with my kids. Unfortunately, even my hubby is around, it doesn't make any difference to me. He was on leave on last Thursday & yesterday. On last Wednesday, when I came back from my mom's place, he told me that he's going out to see his friends, fine.... go ahead... who cares? I didn't know what time he came back, probably very late. I was sleeping and when I woke up at 5am, he's not beside me. Oh... he's back actually, but spending his fucking time with playing games till morning. Damn..... take a break for his breakfast and lunch that I've cooked and continue untill 3pm. Feeling so tired and sleepy, he go to bed... zzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzz until 9pm... wake up, take a bath, having dinner, smoke a cigarette and again GAMES! Until the next morning.... I can't stand this anymore.....but what can I do? Talk to him?? Na..... tried before, result end with an argument... he will say that I'm playing the games too... surfing the net.... bla bla bla.... bullshit! I know he's a very nice guy, a lovely and a responsible father.... but definitely he's not a good husband to me... I'm willing to accept this because of my kids but only God knows how I feel... Today, he's on night shift. Thank god! Go away.... I hate to see your face playing those games till morning and leaving me alone in the room unattended!
Here I am, even after 11 years of marriage, I am still LONELY! :(
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